TRON: LEGACY REIMAGINING
by OneMightyWoogle
Summary: I made Tron: Legacy better.


**Author's note: If you are very unentertained by this and feel the need to tell me this is bad, you can stop yourself. I already know it is! I made it that way, it was made out of boredom and to entertain my friends and myself. If you think this as a very serious piece of writing, you are thinking the wrong way and should probably not read this. On the other hand, if you are cheaply amused and want a little laugh, go ahead and read. **

**PS: I realize her name is spelled "Quorra." I just...do not feel like going through and changing the, like, five times I mention her name. Haha.  
**

TRON: THE REIMAGINING

So, one day Sam Flynn was passing by ENCOM, which was where his dad worked until he disappeared, and he decided he was going to fuck with the dudes that work there because Sam is a huge dick and everybody loves him and you wish you were as "the shit" as he is. So, he did some weird shit to the thing and he got into the huge building. Then he ran up all dem stairs taking every precaution necessary to avoid secruity being privy to his presence. He was doing pretty well until he went into the server room and tripped a laser-doodle. Which totally sucked because security fatso saw him then.

So Fat-ass McDonald ran up to the server room where Sam was doing some other technology shit nobody understood. Then Lardo Heavy-Ass-Fuck tried getting to him, but some shit that I don't remember right now happened and Sam escaped. Those guys in the board room were super confused when some ugly-ass dog came on the screen. Then Tubby Jiggles chased Sam up to the roof and he said something profound and parachuted off of the edge. Then he got caught by the cops and he got bailed out or something.

So after that he went to his garage-home-thing and had a beer and got laid. Then Old-guy dropped in and the lady went home. Then Old-guy told Sam he got a page from Sam's dad at the arcade. So Sam went and checked that shit out and you would not believe what he found...

He got into his dad's secret office and he pressed some buttons or something and he went into Tron-Land! Tron-Land was super cool, but Sam was as confused as fuck, so he was kind of freaking out. Then some Space-Invaders rip-off ship came and stole him to this place and he was picked to play "games" by some robot dude, so Sam got suited up by some babes. He got totally laid by all four of them when they were suiting him up, which was super rad because all of them were hot and had boobs.

So Sam was in super awesome Tron-clothes and he threw discs at a bunch of dudes because that was the game or something. But then there was this guy that was all, "Hey, I'mma throw the disc at the ground and make you fall." But Sam totally threw his circle into the un-bro other guy and pixeled his parts into dead.

Sam was all "FUCK THIS SHIT!" So he escaped and then he was captured by the orange dudes, who were the mega-assholes in Tron-place. And then he was taken to the mega-asshole king, the super-mega-asshole. He looked just like Sam's dad, but it was not him, instead it was a program guy gone bad: C.L.U.!

So, since Super-a-hole wanted Sam to be dead or whatever, he made Sam play Lightcycles. It is a super awesome game, but the Asshole King got some orange awesome guys and they all grabbed their sticks and made lightcylces. And Sam's team was some green guys. Then Sam and the Green-Beans all grabbed their rods and made lightcycles and the game began.

Sam was at a loss for words when some of the orange dickweeds took out two of the green guys. So it was five against three now and it seemed pretty unfair. So Sam got cracking and he busted up, like, a guy and the guy's life when he killed him with his ribbon of light. Then one other of Sam's team got killed. And apparently the only guy that was not a huge pussy and was green told Sam they needed teamwork to win, so they did that and killed two orange assholes. But then the Unpussy-green-bro got tripped and dropped his stick. Sam was about to get it back to him, but he bit the dust at the hand of one of the orange-dick's circles.

All hope seemed lost when Emperor Dickwad II was approaching Sam at light speed(get it, _light_ speed? Like, lightcycles?). Then allofasudden! A car thing came and hit the Un-bro Prince and grabbed Sam and took him away.

So the person driving the car or whatever was wearing a mask, but then she took it off and it was the hottest chick in existence. So Sam played it smooth, but before he could get any, they got to Sam's real dad's house!

So they all hung out there and Sam and his papa caught up and Sam thought it would be super awesome if they just left Tron-Land.

"That's a terrible idea! That is what C.L.U wants! He needs my circle to keep the gate open so he can get out!" ejaculated Mr. Flynn.

Then Corra, who was the amazingly hot girl we mentioned before, told Sam about a guy that would help him or whatever. So she gave him the dude's address. So Sam stole his dad's lightcycle and went to David Bowie's club. It was super awesome, being filled with babes and alcohol. David Bowie was being young and ecstatic as usual. And Daft Punk was in charge of the music. David Bowie said some shit, but then The Oranges and the Pulp spacked the party and Daft Punk made awesome music to go with the fight. The Orange guys were all being dicks but Corra came in and reversed their dickery to kill them.

The dudes just came and came and came and Sam and Corra were almost out-manned. But then David Bowie and Daft Punk rushed in to help in the fight. And all of the Orange dudes were dead. So Daft Punk, Sam, Corra, and David Bowie all had an orgy to celebrate (turns out peoples' dicks glow in Tron-World too). But they didn't have time to make it last. The Gate was going to close soon. So God-I mean-Sam's dad showed up and they all caught a ride on the train or something. Then they all played cards and Daft Punk beeped beats and techno while Bowie sang lyics about space and shit to them. It was the coolest thing to ever happened to Sam. Oh yeah, and Sam and Corra totally did it to Daft Punk's "Too Long(get it?)." It was super hot and Corra had boobs and it was cool.

So the train stopped at the Mega-Orange-Asshole base. They were using Tron-guys and remaking them into soldiers to take over the world! They had to stop it. So Daft Punk and David Bowie put on a song to distract the guards, but Sam and Corra kicked them and they died. And then they made out.

But then the king of the assholes was making an announcement to his army. He was RIGHT THERE. So, hey, why not kill him?

"I have an idea..." Sam whispered.

"What is it, sexy?" purred Corra.

"WATCH THIS!" stated Sam triumphantly as he leapt from hiding, taking out the rod from the green guy he tried to save at the games. "Lightcycle? FUCK THAT! I've got a better idea!"

And he did!

"Where are you going, Sam?" yelled Mr. Flynn, "You-OH MY TRON!"

The rod turned into a fucking bear with rocket-launchers! Sam was riding a Tron-bear with rocket launchers!

The missile-wielding bear ransacked the crowed of Bad-Tron guys, they did not stand a chance. But C.L.U. saw him coming so he used his rod and became a crocodile with chainsaw teeth, and C.L.U.'s right hand man turned into Mike Tyson!

Mr. Flynn, Corra, Daft Punk, and David Bowie all thought Sam need assistance.

"Form VolTRON!", commanded Mr. Flynn.

So the five of them made a robot that could not be stopped. Sam busied himself with fighting The Asshole King, so VolTRON was battling Mike Tyson. But when VolTRON scanned the giant boxer, Mr. Flynn could not believe it. It was his old high-school buddy, Tron! He turned bad and was working for the assholes now. So VolTRON punched Mike Tyson Tron silly until he was good again.

So Mike Tyson Tron, VolTRON, and Sam-rocket-bear-Tron all beat up C.L.U. and he died.

Then they all went through the portal into the real world and everyone was cool. Then Daft Punk and David Bowie existed and made the world better, and Sam and Corra got married and did it all the time. And whenever Corra saw a sunset, she climaxed, she loved it so much. And Mr. Flynn made ENCOM a good company again. And everyone was happy and TRON stayed in Tron-land, but visited real life sometimes.

THE END?


End file.
